“Nothing Matters, and What If It Did?” is a title I pirated from John Cougar’s album. I owned that album, which was probably a cassette at the time. One of my favorite tracks was a rebellious tune called “Wild Angel.” I loved the sentiment of that tune. My life felt a little out of control, but if I could be a wild angel, perhaps there could be some good in me as I was out of control.

I have researched this title extensively as I have thought about its deep-felt meaning all these decades. The phrase “nothing matters, and what if it did?” encapsulates a paradoxical perspective on life that has intrigued philosophers, thinkers, and existentialists for centuries. It reflects a confident nihilistic outlook that questions the inherent meaning and significance of human existence. However, within its seemingly bleak assertion lies an invitation to explore the liberating potential of embracing life’s uncertainties and the power of individual agency in assigning meaning.

At first glance, the phrase embraces nihilism, a philosophical stance that posits the absence of inherent meaning or value in life. Nihilism challenges traditional beliefs and systems, asserting that concepts like morality, purpose, and truth are mere constructs devoid of absolute significance. I only know about nihilism because my life seemed to have this undertone. Living from this perspective, the phrase suggests that, in living this way, nothing truly matters in the grand scheme of things, as life lacks inherent purpose or value. That may be a twenty-dollar explanation for a five-dollar life, but there is some truth. I didn’t give two shits what anyone else thought or did as I didn’t value myself, let alone anyone trying to help me.

I learned more. Existentialist thinkers, such as Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus, offer a nuanced interpretation of the phrase. They argue that while life may lack inherent meaning, individuals have the freedom and responsibility to create their purpose. Existentialism posits that human existence precedes essence, implying that individuals define their essence through their choices and actions. In this light, the phrase challenges individuals to confront the void of meaning and take charge of their destinies. 

The truth is, I found this idea to be mere bullshit. I tried this, and it was not working.

In his philosophy of absurdism, Albert Camus contends that the human quest for meaning is inherently absurd in the face of an indifferent universe. The phrase echoes that life’s lack of inherent meaning can be liberating, as it frees individuals from conforming to predefined values or seeking universal truths. Embracing the absurdity of existence, according to Camus, allows individuals to live authentically and find meaning in pursuing their passions and subjective experiences.

Again, I call it bullshit.

While”Nothing Matters, and What If It Did?” may suggest an inevitable nihilistic resignation, it also challenges individuals to consider the implications of assigning meaning to their lives. By asking, “What if it did?” the phrase prompts individuals to reflect on their power in shaping their realities. It serves as a call to action, inviting individuals to actively construct their meaning, values, and purpose.

Ultimately, the phrase invites a philosophical exploration of the nature of existence, the search for meaning, and the liberating potential of embracing life’s uncertainties. Whether interpreted as a bleak assertion or a call to action, it prompts us to confront the profound question of what truly matters in the tapestry of our existence. “…What if it did?” encourages the exploration of possibility rather than the doom of being dealt a crap hand in life. What if one could change their stars as Heath Ledger considered in A Knight’s Tale?

Thinking about this phrase for so long, I think it’s easy to fall back on the “Nothing Matters” part and not feel the inherent need or desire to pursue truth.

“What if it did?” If life matters, I then must matter; if I matter, it’s my responsibility to find out why rather than assume I know all the answers.